Splintered

Title: Splintered

Author: A. G. Howard

Genre: YA/Fantasy

Release Date: January 1, 2013

My Rating

♥♥

This stunning debut captures the grotesque madness of a mystical under-land, as well as a girl’s pangs of first love and independence. Alyssa Gardner hears the whispers of bugs and flowers—precisely the affliction that landed her mother in a mental hospital years before. This family curse stretches back to her ancestor Alice Liddell, the real-life inspiration for Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Alyssa might be crazy, but she manages to keep it together. For now.When her mother’s mental health takes a turn for the worse, Alyssa learns that what she thought was fiction is based in terrifying reality. The real Wonderland is a place far darker and more twisted than Lewis Carroll ever let on. There, Alyssa must pass a series of tests, including draining an ocean of Alice’s tears, waking the slumbering tea party, and subduing a vicious bandersnatch, to fix Alice’s mistakes and save her family. She must also decide whom to trust: Jeb, her gorgeous best friend and secret crush, or the sexy but suspicious Morpheus, her guide through Wonderland, who may have dark motives of his own.

Via Goodreads

YAWN.
The main reason I picked up Splintered by A.G. Howard was because I thought the cover was friggin' awesome.  I mean, seriously, she has green eyes and awesome lipstick!  I know there have been many, many re-tellings of Alice in Wonderland, like Alice in Zombieland, and I really enjoyed them, so I thought "Why not?"  Well, I definitely should not have asked myself that rhetorical question, because I have several reasons not to read this novel.
I do not understand how this novel received such high ratings online...

Alright, so Alyssa (the main character) is a skater, as in she rides skateboards.  The whole time she was describing her passion of skating, it seemed like an old woman was trying to depict herself as a young, teenage girl.  It just was not believable (in my opinion, feel free to disagree in the comments!).  The story seemed to drag on and on in many places, which resulted in me falling asleep in the middle of many chapters.  This is supposed to be, like, some grotesque and savage version of Alice in Wonderland and, once again, it was NOT BELIEVABLE.  It felt like the author was trying too hard to make the story edgy and hard-core.
I made it to about page 250, and was like "That's it, I cannot take anymore of this mental torture."
I did not enjoy Splintered, and I really wish I hadn't bought it.

Overall, I am giving this book a rating of 2/5 because of the trite plot, the not-believable personalities, and the lagging chapters.